The Holidays-Drama-free, please!

 

I love the Holidays, but I really find myself having a hard time enjoying them because of the constant battle with everyone wanting you in one place at the same time all the time. I wish they would realize and consider that it is not humanly possible for me to be everywhere at the same time on the same day. I hate upsetting people, that is one of my weaknesses. I don’t believe in sharing weaknesses with people due to the fact that they can and they will use that to their advantage, but I have to put this out there.

For once, I would love a drama-free Holiday Season! I hate rushing and hate having to rush my kids around everywhere. Another thing I don’t get is that I don’t hear from my family any other time throughout the year, other than my dad, grandma, grandpa, mom, step-dad, my Aunt Julie, sis, and brother. Why in the world is it so important to you that I be a head-count at your Holiday get-together? There are 365 days in a year and you mean to tell me that throughout the 365 days you only consider me part of the family on those one particular days? If the answer is no, I would like to know then why it is so hard for you to pick up the phone and say, “Hey, wanted to check in on you and see how you’re doing.”

I have made my efforts throughout the course of the past 7 years and, when I finally throw my hands up and say that I am going to let them be the ones to contact me because it shouldn’t be one person trying to keep in touch with all of her family,  I never hear from anyone.

My family, to me, have become strangers that I am connected with by blood and genetics. I don’t know these people anymore and they sure as heck don’t take the initiative to know me either. What a shame! A shame that a once close knit family have become so distant. A shame that the family together in the same place seems as awkward as being in a waiting room at the Doctor’s office.

I love my family and I miss them dearly, but as I said I don’t know them anymore. Some would claim that it is my fault because I moved 35 minutes away. C’mon, seriously?! My intentions are not to bash my family in this post, but to simply release some of the thoughts and feelings I have been feeling for quite some time now. Yes, I have spoke with several people in my family that knows that this is how I feel. It is no secret.

Lord, I pray that this year will be different. I don’t want to be pushed to the point that I am singing BA-HUMBUG!

Reassessing Me

I’m reading a book by Dr.Phil called Self Matters. I just started on the book, but immediately it gets you thinking. It points out how so many of us begin to form a routine in life and become a robot to this routine and we tend to forget what it was in life that made us unique, what made us, deep-down, happy,  and what our goals and dreams were. He states that we, often times, settle for what seems easy and convenient. I agree fully with what I have read in the book so far. I would highly recommend this book!
As far as the reassessing myself goes, I have really fell victim to the “go with the flow” way of life. I look back, like the book asks you to do, and remember those times that I was happy (not that I am not happy now) and so free spirited. I remember when I didn’t care what others thought and I did what made me happy, not in a selfish way, but in a way of authentically being me. I didn’t settle for what others wanted of me, I didn’t think that dreams were unreachable, I went for what I wanted and had the confidence that if I wanted to succeed that I would. I really didn’t notice that over the past couple of years I have become a hermit in my own shell. I care too much about what others expect and think of me. I try too hard to meet their expectations, I settle for what is the easiest, and I don’t focus on myself. I don’t want to be selfish and tend to forget that just because you designate a little time to yourself and to what makes you unique doesn’t make you selfish. I have really guarded myself from being “put out there.” I always wanted to be a writer of some sort and a photographer. I wrote poems multiple times a day and even had a couple published, but I lost touch with it because when I started my family I didn’t see myself as having the time to focus on me and silly dreams that could or couldn’t happen. I had to do what was best for my family. I had to find something stable and something beneficial for my family. I gave up on what made me unique and went straight for what made me like everyone else in a sense. I took the easy road, not that technically it is easy, because even settling (I do not mean settling like I settled for my marriage or motherhood that was all my choosing and I couldn’t be happier) doesn’t make things easy, I just found a way to keep myself from attaining who I was meant to be. I would not EVER change my marriage or having kids, that is not what this reassessment is about. It’s about finding yourself again. Not yourself in a sense of being a Mother or a Wife, but the you that isn’t those things. I love being married and I love having my children and I know that being a wife and mother was one thing I was put on this Earth to be.
I guess you could safely say that this pertains to finding the career in life that makes you you, but also gives you the confidence to reach for what you want in life, not just in a career, but in a hobby, in a way of living, etc.
I have always had a passion for photography and even wanted to go to college for photography, but again it became to be a “well, that chosen field is pass or fail and if it fails it will not be beneficial to myself and my family and could do more harm than good.” So, it was dropped. Why? Because we aim for things that are comfortable and stable, things that are less stressful and less iffy. We find ourselves going with something that we have no passion for and end up being miserable everyday, not being able to wake up happy about your accomplishments. Why? because we go through the motions like a robot and stick with it because it’s the easiest thing to do.
Granted, I am in college to be a teacher and that was always another thing I was quite passionate about. I think that if it were totally up to me to choose whatever in the world I wanted to choose it would have been photography or being a counselor, though. I love helping people.
Well, that is all for now. I am sure there will be more to write and discuss the further along I get in the book.
* You should really check the book out.

Family Vacation to Walt Disney World: The Beneficial Factors of Vacationing with Family in Walt Disney World

Family Vacation to Walt Disney World: The Beneficial Factors of Vacationing with Family in Walt Disney World

© Jessica Carothers

Western Governors University

“Family Vacation to Walt Disney World“

As the parents, planning a vacation to suit the entire family’s needs can be tedious. We have to ensure that each member of the family are going to have a great time and that there are plenty of activities to suit each age range and personality. Each member of the family may have their own ideas for a vacation, but it’s up to us, the parents, to plan one that each one of us will enjoy and be able to partake in. I will explain to you why I think Walt Disney World would be worth every penny! We should take a vacation to Walt Disney World because it is an adventure, a great break from reality, and perfectly suits the needs of the entire family.

Initially, Walt Disney World is full of adventure and excitement. There are several spectacular parks in Walt Disney World including: Epcot, Magic Kingdom, Animal Kingdom, and Disney’s MGM Studios. Also, Disney has a growing collection of adventurous rides. Animal Kingdom, however, provides a great opportunity to be adventurous, as it offers a ride through a wild safari. In the ride through the wild safari, you will take a ride in a jeep through a wilderness full of wild animals, ones you wouldn’t see on a regular basis. It is an awesome opportunity for photo-taking and even learning about these extraordinary creatures.

Subsequently, we all could use a break from reality. I think that Walt Disney World is the best place to escape reality, experience a world of imagination, and meet the characters we all grew to love. I know that meeting the characters I grew to love would be just as enjoyable for me as it would be for my children! As you stroll through each one of Disney’s theme parks you feel as if you are in a whole other universe, one filled with magic, imagination, creativeness, and excitement. Not to mention, there are so many fun activities and rides. Walt Disney World is a great place to bring out the inner child in all of us! Wouldn’t you love to escape, if even for a week, the duties we have as adults, and be able to have a little fun just as if we were kids again?

Lastly, we need a vacation spot that will accommodate the entire family’s needs, one that each one of us can enjoy. Walt Disney World was created with the entire family in mind. There are rides and activities for all age ranges, no matter how young or old. Parents can enjoy, in Epcot, the view of living in different cultures, tasting different brews and beverages, and snacking on different cultural foods. Also, every night in Epcot there is a huge parade that everyone in the family can enjoy. Each park offers something new and exciting.

Concisely, a trip to Walt Disney World would be worth the expense! There are a vast majority of fun things to do to keep everyone occupied, and a lot of memories to be made. A vacation to Walt Disney World will be one no one will forget. With that being said, I would encourage you to consider making the decision to vacation in Walt Disney World. Yes, there are several exciting places to visit, but Walt Disney World, in my opinion, is the ultimate. Imagine taking a ride on Disney’s Rock-n Rollercoaster, going from 0 to 60 mph in 60 seconds, winding through a dark building with Aerosmith blasting through the speakers, and street signs lit up everywhere. Another ride available at Disney World is the Tower of Terror, on the ride you will be entered into an elevator and will be lifted 13 stories high, then dropped. How does that sound for exciting? You could also take a ride on Test Track, where you will be put in a test car, and will be taken through the different testing sections, as they do in real-life car testing. You will go through a room of extreme cold temperatures, and another room with extreme warm temperatures. You will test the tires outside on the track going at a very rapid speed and you will also experience the adrenaline rush of feeling as if you are about to crash head-first into a semi. That is just a very small portion of the things to look forward to when you take a vacation in Walt Disney World. The way I see it, there is absolutely no other experience quite as rewarding as introducing the excitement of Walt Disney World to your family.

© Jessica Carothers

Become Involved in Your Child’s Education: The Beneficial Factors of Becoming Involved

Become Involved in Your Child’s Education: The Beneficial Factors of Becoming Involved

© Jessica Carothers

Western Governors University

“Become Involved in Your Child’s Education”

Our involvement, as parents, plays an important role in the education of our children, as well as, their overall well-being and outlook on life. As your child’s greatest educator, I urge you to become involved in your child’s learning process, the benefits of becoming a part of your child’s educational journey is very rewarding, and the results our involvement can produce might just surprise you! You should become involved in your child’s education because it promotes higher graduation rates, increases self-esteem, and reduces violent behavior and drug usage.

Initially, when we take interest in our child’s education we can provide incentives to promote our children to do well academically. We pay more attention to what is going on with our child from an educational stand-point, therefore, we can monitor their progress and help them continue to strive for success. It is shown that children who have parents that are involved in their educational journey are more likely to graduate, and to graduate with higher grade point averages. When we become involved we allow ourselves to be more in-tuned with what they are struggling with, and are able to adequately provide sources for improvement. If we do not take part in their education, we become unaware of what it is that they need in order to maintain passing grades and, ultimately, reach their goal of graduating and continuing on to college.

Subsequently, our involvement plays a significant role in our child’s self- esteem. When we show interest they tend to put forth more effort in their studies with intent to receive praise and rewards. We can give our children the confidence they need in order to become more self-aware of changes happening within them, and the ability to learn and accept those changes. Each of us, growing up, have went through a time of not really liking ourselves, thinking that no one really liked us, or that we weren’t as good as the rest, which can lead us to asking ourselves this question, if my parents were more involved and had complimented me more, would I have been so hard on myself? What would your response to that question be? We, as parents, tend to overlook the fact that we could be our children’s biggest inspiration, we tend to sometimes forget that just a simple reassurance from us could be enough to keep our children from struggling so much with self-esteem.

Furthermore, our role as parents can go even further. We can put a deterrent on the use of alcohol, drugs, and also violent behavior. See, when we become a part of our child’s life in more depth, especially education, we become more aware of what is going on in their schools. When we become more aware of what is going on in their schools we can be on the alert and take action when necessary. Some parents send their children off to school and are completely oblivious to the things that are happening within the school building, or to what things their child has been introduced to. Start asking questions and reassure your child that you are there for them no matter the issue. Promote good behavior and reward your child for it. Speak with your child’s teacher so you can monitor their behavior in the classroom when they are away from you. Most of all make sure to talk with your children, discuss day to day events with them and make them aware of the outcome of drug and alcohol use and violent behavior.

Concisely, when we become involved in our child’s education it goes a lot further than just helping them with homework, we become more in-tune with their situations in school and with what they are struggling with. Their education not only means a lot to them, but it also means a lot to us, so with that being said, our involvement should be an easy adjustment to our busy schedules and should be one of our top priorities. They need us to take interest and reward them, and they need us to provide the sources for improvement when they are struggling. We can inspire our children to do well and succeed. Studies show that what they need is as simple as us becoming a part of their journey.

© Jessica Carothers

Turkey Day Is Coming- My First Turkey

This year for Thanksgiving I will be making a turkey for the very first time. I don't quite know how I feel about that just yet. I'm a little nervous about how it will turn out.
I have just now got into exploring more with recipes and coming out of my shell, my safety-zone when it comes to cooking.
I am tickled that most of the recipes I have tried have actually come out quite good, but I have had a couple that turned out to be something I would never cook again, but I know that happens as you explore new things.
I used to be so terrified to cook new things. I found out what I could cook and I stuck with those, but boy did that get old quick! I was so tired of cooking the same things all the time. I had to build up the confidence to try new things as far as cooking.
I know my family is sure happy that I did! I have no clue what possessed me one day to go online and search for a recipe to try for dinner, but I did and finally came across something that I could make that I had all the ingredients for and I was pretty pleased with myself with how it turned out. That helped the confidence boast a little. From then on, I have been searching online almost everyday coming up with new recipes to give a shot at.
I have no intentions what-so-ever to become some major cook, but I am enjoying learning and applying what I learn.
Goodness, I sure hope this turkey comes out okay! I'd hate to be the one at Thanksgiving that screwed up the turkey!

Against Domestic Violence- Very Touching!

She's got flowers! It wasn't her birthday or any other special day. They had their first fight, and he said many cruel things that really hurt her. She knows that he is sorry and that he would not say those things again, because he sent her flowers.
She received flowers again! It was not for their anniversary or any other special day. Last night, he pushed her against a wall and started to choke her. It seemed like a nightmare, she couldn't believe it was real. When she woke the next morning her body was painful and bruised. She knows that he must be sorry, because he sent her flowers to forgive.
She received flowers yet again! And this was not mother's day or any other special day. Once again, he has beaten her, it was much more violent than other times. If she leaves, what would she do? How would she care for her children? And financial problems? She is afraid of him, but is scared to go. And she knows that he must be sorry because, as usual, he sent her flowers to forgive.
Today, was a very special day! She have received piles of bouquets of flowers from all those who knew her and who loved her! It was her funeral. Last night, he finally killed her. He beat her to death. If only She had found enough courage to leave, She would have not received so many flowers today!
Share if you're against Domestic Violence. Enough is enough!

My Poem- Its About You

 Make a cheerful impression to yourself above all else.

Take a step back and look beyond a step or two forward.

Envision a life of laughter and smiles.

Keep a positive mind for it will produce a positive result.

When you feel like you’re being battered take a moment to think,

when you feel that you’re on the brink of self-destruction

remember you have instruction.

You are your guide in life, you have the power to choose where you go.

Let it be known who you are.

Don’t shelter yourself from the world,

be bold and loud.

Let others know you’re there and don’t have fear.

Be proud.

Be proud of who you are and take claim to your thoughts.

You own them and deserve to speak them.

Don’t hide behind yourself.

Don’t let you be the reason you’re being held back.

© Jessica Carothers, November, 21. 2011